This is the magic PIL for handling conflict with toxic people
We’re always looking for the magic pill to solve all of our problems, right? Well, I decided to be dorky and offer you an acronym that represents what I believe are the magic steps we can take to really eliminate conflict from our lives – or, even better, use the conflict in our favor.
On the one hand, I think that if we are trying to make the world conflict free before we can feel safe in it, we’re up for a very, very difficult situation. On the other hand, we’re never taught how to deal with conflict, and so it makes sense that many of us feel frozen or terrified when it comes up.
Take Megan, for example. Megan was an assistant, and in general she liked her boss. He had a temper, but usually it was good-humored, and she knew he meant well. Every time he asked her to change one of her regular processes, though (which he did quite frequently because he loved change, while she hated it), she froze and panicked. She could see how changing the process would change her entire work environment, but she didn’t know how to handle it. She felt she either had to do exactly what he said and pretend she liked it or furiously explain why he put her in an impossible situation.
She stayed stuck, pretending she liked his suggestions because she was too afraid her temper would get her fired if she was honest.
Megan was stuck thinking about her situation as though she