Episode 1: Toxic Workplaces - Should we leave or stay?
In Episode 1, Meredith and Megan provide an introduction to the three pillars of Empowered Communication™: Enforcing Boundaries, Reprogramming Hegemony, and Accountability. This is anew, integrity-based model for handling power dynamics in the workplace.
In this episode Meredith and Megan tell their stories about why they care about this work. Early in Meredith's legal career, she got her dream job as a civil rights lawyer. The problem was that she was representing women in sexual harassment lawsuits while she was expeirencing sexual harassment herself. Megan found herself leaving a big tech position and inadvertently triggering a major investigation because she answered an exit survey, saying that the workplace was not appropriate for women.
But, both Meredith and Megan have learned and explored tools that work, that turned those experiences around, and helped them recover. This episode explores what we can do to encounter toxic workplace conflict like sexual harassment from an empowered place and create health work environments.
Click here to access the AI generated transcript for this episode.
Do you have a story about a toxic work environment? We would love to hear it! Share your story here.
Episode 2: Why Do People Stay in Toxic Work Environments?
In Episode 2, Meredith and Megan give an overview of the 4 most common types of toxic work environments and the 2 most common types of toxic workplace experiences. Each of those situations can create different pressures to tolerate experiences we do not want to tolerate or confusion about when it is okay to leave. We call the 4 most common types of toxic work environments the "big happy family," "gaslighting passion project," "brainwash factory," and the "9-5." Learn more about each of those and the 2 most common experiences people have in them in this episode.
Click here to access the AI generated transcript for this episode.
Do you have a story about a toxic work environment? We would love to hear it! Share your story here.
Episode 3: “Just Say No,” “Toughen Up,” “Call Us Back When You Get Fired,” And Other Advice That Doesn’t Work in a Toxic Work Environment
In Episode 3, Meredith and Megan talk about the first pillar of Empowered Communication: Enforcing Boundaries. Personal boundaries, like property boundaries, are the line where I end and someone else begins. Boundary violations happen when someone's actions come into our space. When we enforce our boundaries, it is about taking action that makes us safe and rewards us, even while another person may behave in abusive ways. We can try to stop the other person's behavior and be successful at that, but our safety and success has to come first. Learn more about what works and what doesn't work when we encounter abuse in the workplace in this episode.
Click here to access the AI generated Transcript for this episode.
Waking the Tiger, by Peter Levine.
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, by Pete Walker.
Do you have a story about a toxic work environment? We would love to hear it! Share your story here.
Episode 4: The Power of Negative Feelings
In Episode 4, Meredith and Megan talk about the power of negative feelings. You may have heard about the power of "positive" feelings, but "negative" or painful feelings are equally powerful and important. In this episode, we talk about the second pillar of Empowered Communication™, reprogramming hegemony, and Meredith shares the structure of her IMPACT Model™, a tool to help look at the root cause of uncomfortable feelings so that we can decide whether the pre-programmed thinking behind that feeling serves us or harms us. As humans we experience a range of feelings, and both comfortable and uncomfortable feelings can be important to our safety and wellbeing. Often uncomfortable feelings are important alerts about our safety or integrity.
Click here to access the AI generated transcript for this episode.
Do you have a story about a toxic work environment? We would love to hear it! Share your story here.
Episode 5: Bullying at Work
In Episode 5, Meredith and Megan talk about holding bullies and abusers accountable at work and how we can respond if someone else has called us abusive or a bully. This episode dives into the third pillar of Empowered Communication: Accountability. Accountability is essentially the math, or the “accounting,” of the actions we’ve taken and the results they’ve gotten. The math is always neutral. When we are afraid we might be bad people, we often get defensive and afraid of owning the actions we’ve taken and the results they’ve gotten. Similarly, when we struggle with getting someone else to acknowledge their actions and results (aka take accountability) we can give ourselves permission to know our perception is right, even if someone else disagrees with us. Then we take the next step to care for ourselves and create safety in our environment.
Click here to access the AI generated Transcript of this episode.
Do you have a story about a toxic work environment? We would love to hear it! Share your story here.
Episode 6: Are You Highly Sensitive, or is Your Work Environment Toxic?
In Episode 6, Meredith and Megan talk about the experience of being a highly sensitive person and how valuable that can be, even if it is a toxic work environment. A toxic work environment is one where we are tolerating experiences we do not want to tolerate. Highly sensitive people have heightened perceptive abilities and have more pronounced experiences than others. This is only a problem when we try to shut down our perceptive or when we are unwilling to experience other people's discomfort. When we can see our body's signals and sensitivity as a power, we can respond to experiences we want to shift in a more empowered way.
Click here to access the AI generated transcript of this episode.
Do you have a story about a toxic work environment? We would love to hear it! Share your story here.
Episode 7: Imposter Syndrome - is it Real or is it Hegemony?
In Episode 7, Meredith and Megan explore imposter syndrome at work. We typically label an experience as imposter syndrome when we are in a new situation, unsure of ourselves, and wondering if everyone is going to find out we don't belong. It is a feeling that we "sneaked in" to a position that is above our abilities. But, we typically don't use "imposter syndrome" with people who have privilege. When someone has primarily dominant characteristics, we just say they're having normal jitters or they're learning, but we assume they belong. While the phrase "imposter syndrome" might feel comforting, it is also possible that it marginalizes people around us (or us!). It is normal in any new experience to feel nervous or unsettled. We're not imposters for having that experience.
Click here to access the AI generated transcript of this episode.
Reshma Saujani on Imposter Syndrome.
Do you have a story about a toxic work environment? We would love to hear it! Share your story here.
Episode 8: Holding Abusers Accountable
In Episode 8, Meredith and Megan explore how we can hold abusers accountable at work. Often, when we talk about holding people accountable, it means that we want the other person or a group of people around us to agree with us about something that happened. Other times, people use the word accountability to mean punishment to the abuser or even creating safety for ourselves. In Empowered Communication, we talk about accountability as math. It is possible to know an abuser caused harm without the abuser agreeing with us (or really without anyone else agreeing with us). Before we do the emotional, physical, and time-intensive labor of holding someone else accountable, we want to make sure it is the best choice for us and that we are caring for ourselves.
Click here to access the AI generated transcript of this episode.
Do you have a story about a toxic work environment? We would love to hear it! Share your story here.
Episode 9: Toxic Work Environments And Taking Work Home
In Episode 9, Meredith and Megan talk about boundaries at work and navigating the experience of taking work home, not just physically but mentally. Have you ever had the experience of burning dinner or forgetting to eat because your brain is so distracted by something that happened at work? Just us? In this episode, we focus on the first pillar of Empowered Communication: Boundaries. But, not just physical boundaries. We talk about our inner boundaries with our own self-talk. If you want to leave work at work, these are some tips and tricks to try.
Click here to access the AI generated transcript of this episode.
Do you have a story about a toxic work environment? We would love to hear it! Share your story here.
Episode 10: When Past Work Experiences Feel Unresolved
In Episode 10, Meredith and Megan go into their experiences of resolution and non-resolution related to past work experiences. Meredith breaks down the steps she has taken to make resolve past work experiences and the typical steps she sees related to reporting harassment and discrimination and how we have been taught to respond to those issues. Sometimes, employees seek closure and justice through the legal system, and other times they walk away feeling no closure. Ultimately, it is possible to create closure and justice even when the system fails. This episode touches on how that can happen.
Click here to access the AI generated transcript of this episode.
Do you have a story about a toxic work environment? We would love to hear it! Share your story here.
Episode 11: Who is Responsible for Creating Healthy Workplace Culture?
In Episode 11, Meredith and Megan discuss workplace hierarchies and who, ultimately, is responsible for the workplace culture, whether it is toxic or healthy. In many workplaces, there is a clear hierarchy, with chief officers over managers, over frontline workers. The expectation is that the person at the top of the hierarchy has more responsibility than the person who is paid the least. But, what happens when that responsibility breaks down? Often, in toxic work environments, the person at the top is not emotionally or intellectually capable of creating a healthy work environment. In that case, even though it is unfair, the person who is paid less, may want to take more responsibility rather than leave or allow a workplace culture to deteriorate. This episode includes some tools to reclaim power where the person expected to be responsible has not followed through.
Click here to access the AI generated transcript of this episode.
Do you have a story about a toxic work environment? We would love to hear it! Share your story here.
Episode 12: What Should We Expect From a Work Environment?
In Episode 12, Meredith and Megan explore expectations at work. We often come from family systems and educational systems that teach us to expect one thing from our lives, but then we enter a workplace that is very different than we expected. Sometimes, workplaces even advertise themselves as "happy families," and after we start working, we learn they are anything but happy. When we learn that our expectations are not in line with the reality of the workplace, how should we handle that? In some ways, the answer is that we decide whether we want the work, as it is, and whether we are willing to put on the emotional or physical protections that will keep us safe.
Click here to access the AI generated transcript of this episode.
Do you have a story about a toxic work environment? We would love to hear it! Share your story here.
Episode 13: Defensiveness at Work: When You Feel Attacked and the Emotional Cage Error
In Episode 13, Meredith and Megan feel attacked. Or at least they talk about the experience of feeling attacked at work. Meredith shares the concept of the emotional cage error, a thinking error that leads us to believe that if someone else acts abusively, it limits how we are allowed to feel or respond. When we feel defensive or attacked, and we act from that space, it can limit our responses and work against the outcomes we want. When we can enforce our boundaries and identify our emotional cage errors, we can refocus on creating the environment we want to experience at work.
Click here to access the AI generated transcript of this episode.
Do you have a story about a toxic work environment? We would love to hear it! Share your story here.
Episode 14: Gaslighting and Brainwashing: Are You Making This Up?
In Episode 14, Meredith and Megan talk about how gaslighting and brainwashing show up in the workplace, and how they can impact a work environment. Gaslighting happens when we fail to acknowledge someone else's reality, and instead reassert our version of reality or what we want reality to be. Brainwashing happens when we use coercive strategies to pressure people to share a certain reality. Both dynamics can create a toxic work environment, even when we are not intending to create that. Meredith and Megan talk about their personal experiences with gaslighting and brainwashing at work.
Click here to access the AI generated transcript of this episode.
Do you have a story about a toxic work environment? We would love to hear it! Share your story here.
Episode 15: Empowered Communication and Holidays
In Episode 15, Meredith drops a few thoughts about the holidays and one factor in communicating from an empowered place when we are triggered. Most of us have been taught that ego is arrogance, and we should avoid it. But, really ego is what defines our preferences and who we are. Holidays can be very triggering and bring out our sensitive points, but when we can manage and care for our egos (our preferences), we can interact better with people who are different from us. When we don't care for our egos, we can become arrogant and mean as an unconscious response to protect ourselves. The message here is take care of yourself! Eat that cookie! Binge that show! Even if you are busy or stressed, lonely or triggered, do something to calm your ego and care for yourself this holiday season.
Click here to access the AI generated transcript of this episode.
Do you have a story about a toxic work environment? We would love to hear it! Share your story here.