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ICYMI: R. Kelly made an 18 minute confession (please don't Google it)

In case you missed it, R. Kelly, the R&B artist who married Aaliyah when she was only 15 years old, recently released an 18 minute confession in song. Please don't Google it, and I talk more about why and what you can do to respond on a Facebook live I did recently. Here it is! (And check out my face! Frozen sarcasm face!) Here is a link to an article about the accusations against R. Kelly. Here's the text of the song so you don't have to google it: Lyrics! I Admit R. Kelly Produced by Noc & R. Kelly [Verse 1] I admit I done made some mistakes And I have some imperfect ways (I have some imperfect ways) I admit I helped so many people (I helped so many) And them same damn people tur

Say Her Name: Nia Wilson - What is intersectionality?

In honor of Nia Wilson's tragic death last week, I recorded a video to honor her and to explain what I could about #SayHerName and what intersectionality is. I'm copying my notes from the video below. Hey everyone. I wanted to jump on to honor the life of #NiaWilson, who was murdered by a white supremacist while riding the #BART in San Francisco on Sunday night. There was a vigil in her honor today, and I hope you have seen all of the posts honoring her. Nia Wilson was 18 and a rapper. She was going home with her sister Latifa from a family function, when they both were attacked and stabbed. Her sister survived. Interestingly, the press releases have noted that the terrorist who attacked the

Quiz: What Force of Nature Are You in Conflict?

Before you try to resolve a conflict with someone difficult, take my new quiz to find out what Force of Nature your personality aligns with and how to use that in your favor. Click the picture below:

If you saw someone in true need, what would you do?

A lot of us like to think of ourselves as Good Samaritans. We think that if we saw someone in true need, we would stop and help them. We have grown up on horror stories about inner cities where people get murdered and the neighbors don’t even call for help. We wouldn’t be like that. As a child, I didn't hear Bible stories, but I remember reading the story in middle school, and wondering if I would be a Good Samaritan if push came to shove. I was obsessed with books about the Holocaust and slavery, and I always wondered if I would show compassion if I was raised not to show compassion. I wondered if I would be someone who helps someone in need even when it's unpopular or someone who sells out

Conflict is optional

Do you know someone who experiences road rage? It is my favorite example of conflict. My mom used to experience road rage, and I remember sitting in the passenger seat with her saying, “Mom, I’m not doing this to you, stop yelling at me. They can’t hear you.” She was sitting in her car. They were sitting in their car. They were not experiencing her conflict. When we experience conflict, we often believe we are locked into an interaction with someone else. The problem with that belief is that you could be laying in your bed, the other person is on the other side of town watching TV, and nevertheless you are experiencing conflict. You are dreading that dinner with your mother-in-law. She is ha

The Smart Girl Struggle: Being Smart Often Makes It Harder For Women To Stop Sexual Harassment

Joan recently defended her thesis and became a full professor. She told me she is an exceptional math teacher, and she has gotten rave reviews from her students. She has no doubt about her abilities to teach. She loves it. A colleague started pressuring her to have a relationship with him, however, telling her that he was in love with her and that he just knew they had a connection. She was not interested. She repeatedly told him no in various, very planned and collegial ways, but he started emailing her, and continued pressuring her. She didn’t want to lose the professional contact. She thought she knew how to be appropriate in turning someone down politely – after all, she was very smart a

The Tough Girl Trap

Julie was raised to be a tough girl. She could run a forklift better than any man in her workplace. She knew how to hunt, fish, and defend herself in a fight. She also loved a good mani-pedi – because being tough didn’t take away from being feminine. Julie worked with all men in a construction industry. She fought her way to each promotion she got by working twice as hard as the men around her, but it was worth it to her to know she proved herself. The problem was her general manager was sexually harassing her. He criticized her body to customers, went through her phone when she wasn’t looking, and even snapped her bra, among other things. Julie initially thought she was “tough enough” to ha

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