I am sometimes reluctant to tell clients about my background because when any of us compare our experiences, we jump right into saying, “I’m not experiencing real sexism.” No matter who had the more extreme experience, we either feel like the bigger victim or the bigger whiner. So, I share this because I have had the great privilege of seeing life through the lens of straightforward, honest sexism, but not to compare any of our experiences. When you grow up with the lessons I learned as a kid, you can see the outgrowths of sexism clearly, without the shame people have if they were raised to believe “sexism is evil.” I’ve noticed that when people believe that sexism is evil, it contributes to
When we first experience something offensive that starts to interfere with our careers, it is often hard for us to even wrap our brains around what is happening. When Anna came to me to see if she had a legal claim, she was working on a high-level business deal with a much older man who started harassing her. He invited her to stay in his home while she was visiting for business, and he soon began touching and propositioning her. When she was writing a description of what happened to her, she repeated over and over, “I was stunned.” I asked her to be more specific about whether she was afraid or just surprised, and she kept saying, “I was just stunned! I was shocked. I couldn’t believe it wa
