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Leading with Integrity

Leading with Integrity

In most states in the United States, employment is “at will,” meaning that an employee can be fired for any reason, unless the reason is specifically prohibited by law. Sometimes, employees have access to a union, which provides more protection for them, but generally businesses that have reached success and started scaling have hired employees who do not have access to those protections. Much of what a union enforces, though, is simply transparency, and this can often be as

Using Transparency to Encourage Growth and Retention

Using Transparency to Encourage Growth and Retention

Before you owned your business, did you ever work in a business where it seemed like the rules were written by Lucy in Charlie Brown? Every time you’re just sure you’re going to kick the football out of the park, someone moves it and you fall flat on your behind. That is the challenge of working for a business where transparency is not a priority. Only Lucy feels comfortable and safe. Employees start withdrawing and hesitating to share their creative ideas and opinions. They

Conflict Is Optional and Sometimes Useful

Conflict Is Optional and Sometimes Useful

Conflict is always optional. And by that I mean that not only is it never necessary to choose conflict, it is also your choice if you do want to choose conflict. Many people unconsciously or consciously enjoy the charge of conflict and find it stimulating. After all, many of us choose to be competitive athletes, politicians, or trial lawyers and actively engage in adversarial disputes. We enjoy the process of conflict. You are not required to resolve conflict, ever. It is alw

How Asking 'Why?' Completely Changes the Game

How Asking 'Why?' Completely Changes the Game

The one key, simple step toward resolving a conflict is asking, “why?” I know it sounds too simple to actually be useful, but it works because it is so simple. Asking why helps you stand in the other person’s shoes and truly understand the Thought Models they are having that are motivating their side of the conflict. It only works if you have done your work first to understand and feel comfortable about your own perspective. Ask yourself “why” first, and make sure you like yo

Strategies That Get Results

Strategies That Get Results

If you have worked hard to get to where you are in your career, but you’re worried you’re going to have to give up everything you’ve worked for because of harassment, talk to me. I hope this blog has given you an overview of what is possible in your life and how you can use your experience of harassment as a starting point to become the powerful presence you were meant to be. I want to see you take up space. Take up all the space you’ve been given, and then grow to take up

Learning to Resolve Conflict for the Best Possible Outcome

Learning to Resolve Conflict for the Best Possible Outcome

Let’s be real, the news has been bleak when it comes to the opportunity for reconciliation and resolution around harassment, discrimination, and abuse. After the 2016 presidential election, many of us took a step back in disbelief, realizing how polarized the United States has become. We’ve seen protesters on the side of white supremacy and protesters on the side of feminism and gun control. Sometimes these protesters are in the same family circles. Throughout the country, pe

Your Own Best Advocate... Is You

Your Own Best Advocate... Is You

“So, should I bring a case?” I hear you ask. As with all things in the law, the answer is “It depends.” (Now you know the secret to why people love lawyers so much!) When someone comes to me and asks, “Do I have a case?” my initial thought is that the person has a pretty basic misunderstanding of what it means to use the law. You always have a case. I could sue you for taking breaks while reading this blog. I would lose the lawsuit because it’s not illegal for you to take bre

How to Stop Offensive Behavior

How to Stop Offensive Behavior

For inclusive leaders in the workplace, shifting power dynamics can be difficult in a different way. Hestia described that when she started managing people she had worked as peers with before, she stopped being invited to lunches with them. At first, she was offended and thought maybe she had done something or that someone was deliberately excluding her. Later, she realized that as the manager, people she used to consider peers now thought of her as the boss. It became her jo

Shifting Power Dynamics to Win

Shifting Power Dynamics to Win

Once you have chosen a purpose that is clear in your mind, and you are ready to go for it, no matter what kind of opposition you face, your brain starts to open up to see how even opposition can contribute to your purpose. In The Art of Learning, Josh Waitzkin (the chess prodigy on whose life the movie Searching for Bobby Fisher was based) talks about learning how to be a “push hands master.” Push hands is the Tai Chi fighting technique, and it is based on using other people

Getting to the Root Cause of Conflict: The Power Dynamics Model

Getting to the Root Cause of Conflict: The Power Dynamics Model

In my experience, in order to effectively stop abuse at work, we have to support both the victim and the perpetrator in understanding and appropriately using power dynamics. Most of us spend our days at work feeling like this: Often perpetrators feel this way even more than victims of harassment. Those who feel powerless are much more likely to perpetrate abuse than those who understand the power they have. This is because we justify exaggerated and abusive behavior when we a

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