Have you heard about that girl? You know who I’m talking about – the mystery woman constantly dissected by science to bring you the transformational diet of your dreams – the naturally skinny girl. We’ve all heard about her since she was discovered by Bethenny Frankel in the early 2000s. She’s constantly there to remind us of our deficiencies when it comes to beauty, but also give us hope that we could discover our own inner skinny girl. She’s French and also hangs at the beach and does yoga and pilates. She has an effortless way about her and I understand she eats leeks, heavy cream, and hummus. And she either does or does NOT eat bread, bread, bread.
If you’re like me, you are probably a little over hearing about her and her secret food habits. She might help you get a shallow boyfriend, but she’s not going to help you pay the bills. Boring.
The new elusive unicorn woman you should know about is the naturally confident woman. We hear all the time about women having imposter syndrome, feeling shut down in meetings, and getting paid less than men for better work. While the majority of women have this experience or worse, I have seen the naturally confident woman in the wild. She encounters sexism in her career, and then she knows what to do.
I was not her, but with studying and work, I have been able to implement her practices. I believe every woman should have the chance to feel powerful and safe in her environment, and so I want to tell you a few practices I’ve observed of naturally confident women so you can start implementing them now.
She Schedules Time To Do What She Wants. This is harder than it seems and easier than what most of us are doing now. It is harder because it means that she takes time to figure out what she wants. She pays attention to what she likes and dislikes, and she’s honest about it. That means trying things out, but it also means saying no even when someone might have a negative reaction to that.
It is easier because it acknowledges that sometimes she is going to do things for other people. That doesn’t mean other people are obligated to her about what she does for them. But, she doesn’t put all of her energy into forcing other people to feel joy so with the idea that it is the only way she can feel it.
She Understands Other People Are Responsible For Their Own Behavior. She is willing to let other people (even people in her family) embarrass themselves. She doesn’t take other people’s bad behavior as a reflection that there’s something wrong with her, but she understands it only is about them.
She Chooses Her Goals. She does not wait for the perfect thing to fall into her lap, but she chooses personal goals that sound fun to her and she is willing to learn from them. She understands that failing at her goal is something that happens for her, not to her, and helps her grow. She is willing to shift when it benefits her, but she does not shift simply because of failure or fear.
The naturally confident woman has her own back and is her own advocate. She is not working against other people – she is working in favor of herself because she understands that helping herself helps others.
Want to learn more of the practices of naturally confident women? I’d love to send you a free copy of my book to help out. Click here to download a free copy of Career Defense 101: Is Your Career Safe From Sexism?